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« 14 Days of Self-Love ~ Day 3 - Susannah Conway | Main | 14 Days of Self-Love: Let's Begin »

14 Days of Self-Love: Day 2 ~ Andrea Schroeder


It is possible to love yourself so much that you become unwilling to do anything that dulls your dreams.

It is possible to not just listen to your heart, but make it your boss - in every aspect of your life.

It is possible to take your dreams so seriously that they become your #1 priorities.

It is possible to take everything that doesn't make you happy and remove it from your world.

It is possible to support yourself doing only the things you love most.

It is possible to wake up and bounce out of bed, excited about this amazing day, every day. What makes all of this possible?

Radical. Self. Love.

Self Love becomes Radical when you put it into action and live like it's true.

But. Be honest.

Does this sound selfish to you? Or far-fetched and impossible? Or maybe you think others can have these things, but not you?

I've tried to write this post so many times. I keep deleting and re-writing and it is becoming clearer and clearer to me, as I try to write about radical self love, that the most useful thing to write about is what gets in the way of Radical Self Love.

What makes it seem selfish? Or impossible?

Inner critics, small scared selves and various monsters, goblins and gremlins.

Inside of you you know that everything I wrote above is possible. Deep in your heart you know that you are here to do amazing things. You know that you sparkle and shine in a way that no one else can. Those dreams that live in your heart? They are needed out in the world and you know that you have the power to bring them to life.


But. All that stuff gets in the way. Feeling like it's selfish to put yourself first. Being afraid that it's all impossible anyway. Having very real obligations and people and things to take care of.

Somewhere along the way it became considered natural to put ourselves, and especially our hearts and dreams, last. Somewhere along the way it became considered natural to treat others with love and weird to treat ourselves with love.

This is not natural.

This is very far from natural.

It's also not wise, fun or sustainable in the long run. But because it's considered natural and normal and because there is so much, inside and outside of you, that holds these patterns in place you can't just all of a sudden, with the magic of Radical Self Love, break free.

What you can do is start where you are. Bring as much Radical Self Love as you can into your day, starting right now.

And what you can do is work on the parts that you can work on: Inner critics, small scared selves and various monsters, goblins and gremlins. These things live inside of you and it's not nearly as hard as you think to be the boss of them. To get them to settle down, play nice and even become your allies in bringing your dreams to life.

With that part done, dealing with the other stuff that's in the way gets a lot easier. Locked doors swing open, secret shortcuts are revealed and your dreams are suddenly nowhere near as far away as they seemed.  

I've got a kit that helps you harness the infinite power of your creativity and imagination to transform your inner critics, goblins and gremlins into powerful inner allies and in honour of 14 Days of Self-Love - I am giving one away! Right here, right now.

Leave a comment below saying what you could do, if you had Wise Inner Allies instead of annoying Inner Critics.

On Monday Viv and I will select a winner and you'll get a free Transform Your Inner Critic Kit.

xo Andrea


Dream Incubator & Creativity Muse Andrea Schroeder has mastered the art of wish-fulfillment — and she’s doling out magic lessons (and dream journal guides, and supercharged meditations, and inspiring courses and DIY kits) at her virtual retreat center: the Creative Magic Academy.

Reader Comments (19)

I had dreams a long time ago, but my inner critic and its host of friends have deafened me. (maybe that should read, deadened me,) If I win, I would try to discover the parts of me that I don't even know yet, to coax them out of hiding, into the light where they can sparkle and be shared.

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermj

This is a G*R*E*A*T reminder! Thank you, Andrea, for embracing the magic of radically loving oneself with such eloquence and passion! I think if I trusted in these Wise Inner Allies presence I would create art more regularly and be open to where that journey takes me. I found your blog this morning through Gypsy Love Cafe, and it came at a helpful moment...thank you, again, for sharing your thoughts!

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commentertina

It's so true that we see self-love as selfish, and I'm feeling this especially at the moment. If I listened to wise inner allies instead of critics, I guess I'd realise two things. First, it's not selfish to not want to sacrifice my life to teaching in such an exhaustive and life consuming way, it doesn't mean that I don't care about my students or children in general. Secondly, I'd realise that I don't have to look externally for validation or 'signs', but that the sign is my own voice inside of me and that is enough, even if it is a bit afraid it may be wrong.

Wow. Some deep shit there. Lol.

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHaley

If I could turn some love my way, I could FINALLY maybe realize what my dreams are again. They feel very muddled up right now. Thank you.

msred5 at gmail dot com

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKaren Beth

Oooooh, this post blew right through me like a rainstorm, sweeping out the cobwebs and forcing me to squint from the brightness.
What would I do if I had Wise Inner Allies?
I'd step up and put my name proudly to everything I've ever created.
It stand strong. I'd keep going. I'd make beautiful words and art like a woman posessed by Spirit.
I'd be me.
The me I have always meant to be.
Thank you for these self-love manifestos. I am loving every pixel!

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Wise Inner Allies, if I had them, and not the Critics, maybe I'd be nicer to myself and nicer to other people. Maybe I could stop seeing all of the situations I'm in as problems to be solved, maybe I could let go of some of the things in the past. I think everyone wants to be a better person, this sounds like the tool kit to being that good person you always were. Yes, I'd like a toolkit like that very much.

February 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterleah

I think I'm missing something, you identify things,inner critic etc, but I need/would like a strategy for quieting/silencing them.
My only take away was to sign up for your course.........did I miss an activity or excercise buried in day2? I agree, I'd like to practice, but how?

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermj

I could use a kit to unlock those door...this sounds fantastic and thank you for sharing!

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

I would be gentler with myself by: remembering the road I've taken to get where I am now; recognize my accomplishments; be proud of all my facets; recognize that I am a good, loving and caring mother; that I am not just composed of faults and to be patient with myself.

February 3, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJasmin

Do you think an 70 year old with no other family, caring for a nonagenarian mother with dementia, could still find "radical self love" ? Whatever dreams I might have had ten, fifteen years ago have seemingly all flown the coop ...

find and follow a new path through the maze

February 4, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDeanna Gracie

If I had wise inner allies I would trust myself more. I would follow paths that lead me to fullfilling places because I would have trust in myself to make descions that would help me thrive and grow.

February 4, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbrie

With wise inner allies, I would have an internal stage - a platform to shine from. Platform = supported with clear 360 views, a place where I can shine the light on me so -I- can see what I say.

Rather then be scattered - pieces of me lost in the dark, arguing with the fears and gremlins - or even just kindly sitting and holding their hands while they hyperventilate... I could be whole, and listen to myself thoroughly, and grow organically and smoothly out of the wholeness.

(That was not particularly practical. On a practical level, everything would simply flow, much easier - growing and ending and moving and exposing.)

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

With wise inner allies I'd be healthy, strong, confident. I'd feel creative energy bursting at the seems and with wise inner allies I'd go for it. I'd try. I'd believe! I'd look in the mirror and see pretty, I'd see balance, I'd see peace, I'd see a smart, good, caring human being. With wise inner allies I'd be smiling, humming, glowing ; ) (maybe not all the time, but hopefully most of the time ; )

My wise inner allies are inside me I know that, but they went on vacation for a long, long time somewhere far, far away during the years when I needed them most. There were many years I didn't know that they existed. I hope my daughters (and sons) never experience that.


February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Lawless

i would be that much more brave! and dive into my next career path instead of waiting for it to find me...

Amy from

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

Maybe I could take more of my ideas from my head to something ... Reality - sharing - hmmm...takes them to possibility

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMarie

My inner critics are extremely annoying. They also have very bad manners. If I could connect better with my wise inner allies (I know they are there, whispering under the loud and nagging inner critics!), there would be a lot less fear in my life. I wouldn't hold back so much. I wouldn't take so long to launch projects and act on ideas. I would take bigger and bolder steps. I wouldn't hesitate or second guess myself so much. I would trust myself more and judge myself less. I would be my best firend rather than my worst enemy.

February 6, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

You inspire me to love radically, deeply, and madly. To let go of expectations and jump in head first. Those inner critiques are just plain mean. Fighting them off is a daily struggle. So easy to show love to others. So difficult to show it to ourselves. But we must push forward...with arms wide open to live.

February 11, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

I really needed your article! I've been stuggling with these issues my intire life. I have always been artistic, drawn & painted, but Ive been sufocated by the inner crittic that wants me to fail.I haven't been creative in years. With an inner allie I can resume my passion, revive my soul, renew myself. It will mean a brilliant new life for me, I've toiled to long in the dark.

February 15, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCathie

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